GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN VOL4A while ago, we started a little series called
Pink, Fuchsia or Magenta, mainly because we discovered that apparently calling everything that looks pink to us simply “pink” is considered an unacceptable oversimplification of the color spectrum.
Apparently not. It can be pink, fuchsia, magenta, blush pink, bubblegum pink, dusty pink... and probably another fifteen shades that someone could distinguish by placing them side by side while we nod along pretending we can see the difference.
Well,
exactly the same thing happens with green.
There's olive green, bottle green, emerald green, mint green, pistachio green, lime green, forest green, military green, jade green, moss green... and probably another forty shades of green whose names I don't know and have absolutely no intention of learning.
At ALRNCN, we're simple people. So
if it looks green, it's green.
We're not going to waste valuable time trying to decide whether a woman's bra is emerald green with hints of jade or forest green leaning toward bottle green. We have a responsibility to our readers, and
there are matters that require our attention far more urgently.
So while color experts can happily argue about shades, saturation and nuances, we'll continue a series based on a much more efficient color classification system:
GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN.
And inside you'll find women wearing green clothes.
Not many of them.
We really don't need to know much more.
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THE COLOR WHITE VOL4And here we are: white. After an entire week talking about colors, shades, impossible names and some pretty questionable chromatic boundaries, we're finishing with the one color that seems to have decided
not to take part in any of those arguments.
Because there's something funny about white: on paper, it seems like the simplest color of them all. It doesn't need to scream for attention, it doesn't have to be particularly intense, and you're unlikely to hear two guys arguing for ten minutes about whether something is pearl white, off-white, ivory or nuclear white.
If it looks white, it's white as far as we're concerned, and we can peacefully get on with our lives.
But then white shows up on certain clothes and all that supposed discretion goes straight out the fucking window.
A white T-shirt, a shirt, a dress or, especially,
a good piece of white lingerie can attract a hell of a lot more attention than any color specifically designed to do exactly that. Maybe because it doesn't need much decoration. Maybe because it lets the shapes do all the work. Or maybe because our relationship with colors is a lot less sophisticated than we've spent this entire week pretending it is.
Either way, after making our way through greens, blues, lilacs, reds, yellows and blacks, we've finally reached the end of the road.
And we're finishing with white.
No mixtures, no complications and no need to check a Pantone chart to know exactly what the hell we're looking at.
Color week is over.
Now we can finally go back to focusing on what really matters.
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IT'S FRIDAY!