VLADIMIR SERKOV 2021

FUCK ANY GIRL WITH AI














































vk.com/serkoff
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USING A CUSHION OR PILLOW AS AN EXCUSE

The internet is full of trends that probably started because someone did something, someone else decided to copy it, and before we knew it, there were enough identical videos to dedicate an entire post to them.

This time, the only requirement seems pretty simple: stand in front of the camera holding a cushion or pillow to cover your body and stay like that for a few seconds.

Just long enough to build a little anticipation, because we all know perfectly well that nobody pressed play to check out these girls' pillow collections.

Then comes the second part of the trick: the cushion drops, gets tossed aside, or simply disappears from the frame, no longer serving the only purpose it was invited for.

A compilation dedicated to all those pillows that enjoyed a few seconds in the spotlight before discovering that they were actually completely unnecessary.





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AUGUST IS SLIPPING AWAY

August officially ends on Monday, but we’ve decided to say goodbye to it today, the way it deserves, because the end of August should always be marked with a minute of silence, a cold beer and a distant stare into the horizon.

August isn’t just a month. August is a way of looking at life. It’s the month we automatically associate with holidays, even if it’s been years since we had the kind of summer break we remember from childhood. It means waking up without an alarm, having no idea what day it is, eating at ridiculous hours and discovering that a shower, a pair of flip-flops and a clean T-shirt can be considered perfectly acceptable formalwear.

For a few weeks, even people without a penny to their name get to feel rich. Not because their bank balance suddenly has more zeros, but because they have something far more valuable: time in which nobody is telling them what to do.

You can be sitting on your balcony in a plastic chair, drinking a can of beer while listening to your neighbor argue with his wife, and still feel as though life is smiling at you. Because you don’t have to work tomorrow. Because you don’t need to set the alarm. Because for a few hours, the world can keep spinning without you having to take part in it.

But everything comes to an end. The suitcases go back into the closet, the flip-flops return to the bottom of the shoe rack and the alarm clock reappears on the bedside table with the same asshole attitude it has always had. September arrives loaded with schedules, unanswered emails, school runs, traffic and people claiming that this time they really are going to start taking the gym seriously.

Most people will already have to start looking ahead to August 2027 to fantasize about that brief period of the year when we can pretend we’re actually in control of our own lives. There are twelve months to go, but there’s no point thinking about it too much. We just have to keep surviving one week at a time, one public holiday at a time and one beer at a time.

Today, we raise a glass to August. To those who traveled to the other side of the world and those who never left their neighborhood. To those who slept in five-star hotels and those who set up an inflatable pool on the terrace. Because holidays aren’t always about going somewhere far away. Sometimes they’re simply about nobody being able to force you to be anywhere else.

Until next year, August. You didn’t last long, you cost us far too much and, as always, you disappeared just as we were starting to get used to being alive.





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THE EROTICISM OF LEXUSAG

Oleksii Mitskevych, better known as LexusAG, is a Ukrainian photographer who has developed his own style based on simplicity and natural beauty, with a carefully considered approach to portraying the female form.

His images avoid excessive retouching and aggressive editing that might steal attention away from the model. Everything is handled with elegance and balance, from the lighting and framing to the use of color and the small details that give each photograph its own personality.

Oleksii's work stands out precisely because of this combination of technical skill and artistic sensitivity. His photographs feel intimate and spontaneous, but behind that apparent simplicity lies a very deliberate eye that knows exactly what to reveal and what to leave to the imagination.



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When your girlfriend realizes she isn't quite ready for the swinging lifestyle.

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THE EROTIC ART OF EUGENIO SICOMORO

Eugenio Sicomoro is the artistic name of Bruno Brunetti, an Italian artist and illustrator born in Rome in 1952 who has spent practically his entire life with a pencil in his hand.

Throughout his career, he has worked in the world of comics and illustration for some of Europe's leading publishers, contributing to numerous publications and developing a particularly recognizable style when it comes to depicting the human figure.

But of all his work, there's one particular side that, for strictly cultural and completely selfless reasons, has brought us here: his erotic drawings.

Portraits and female nudes created mainly in pencil and charcoal, where Sicomoro plays with shadows, curves, and proportions to create sensual, voluptuous, and surprisingly realistic women.

In some of his works, the level of detail makes you think for a moment that you're looking at a black-and-white photograph, until you get closer and begin to notice the pencil strokes, the shading, and the texture of the paper.

Almost half a century of drawing, and he still finds plenty of good reasons to keep sharpening his pencil.





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Today's slow-mo.

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GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN VOL4

A while ago, we started a little series called Pink, Fuchsia or Magenta, mainly because we discovered that apparently calling everything that looks pink to us simply “pink” is considered an unacceptable oversimplification of the color spectrum.

Apparently not. It can be pink, fuchsia, magenta, blush pink, bubblegum pink, dusty pink... and probably another fifteen shades that someone could distinguish by placing them side by side while we nod along pretending we can see the difference.

Well, exactly the same thing happens with green.

There's olive green, bottle green, emerald green, mint green, pistachio green, lime green, forest green, military green, jade green, moss green... and probably another forty shades of green whose names I don't know and have absolutely no intention of learning.

At ALRNCN, we're simple people. So if it looks green, it's green.

We're not going to waste valuable time trying to decide whether a woman's bra is emerald green with hints of jade or forest green leaning toward bottle green. We have a responsibility to our readers, and there are matters that require our attention far more urgently.

So while color experts can happily argue about shades, saturation and nuances, we'll continue a series based on a much more efficient color classification system:

GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN.

And inside you'll find women wearing green clothes. Not many of them.

We really don't need to know much more.





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RANDOM AI-GENERATED IMAGES VOL38

While other websites closely follow the evolution of artificial intelligence in fields such as medicine, education, aerospace, robotics and scientific research, somebody has to take care of the truly important stuff.

And that's where we come in.

Ever since this whole artificial intelligence craze began just a few years ago, here at ALRNCN we've been documenting, installment after installment, how AI is advancing in a field as interesting as it is inevitable, necessary and fucking addictive: sex.

Because beyond the images we publish, this series has almost unintentionally become a small chronological record of the evolution of generative artificial intelligence. You only have to go back to the first volumes and compare them with the latest ones to see just how much everything has changed.





At first, we were amazed that an AI could generate a remotely believable woman. Then we started paying attention to the hands, fingers, eyes, skin, proportions, poses, lighting and backgrounds. Mistakes that once immediately gave away an artificial image have gradually disappeared or become increasingly difficult to spot.

And while we were getting used to each new leap forward, the machines kept learning. More detail, better textures, more natural lighting, more coherent anatomy and increasingly convincing scenes. What would have blown our minds a couple of years ago can look completely normal to us today.

That's probably one of the most interesting things about following this evolution month after month: it's not just the technology that changes, our perception of what we consider impressive changes too. AI is improving so quickly that something that seemed extraordinary yesterday may look mediocre tomorrow.

So here we are, making our own little contribution to the history of humanity. Others will document how artificial intelligence helped discover new medicines, design robots or explore space. We're documenting how it learned to create increasingly realistic fantasies.

We all contribute to society in our own way.

I hope that someday someone will appreciate the enormous amount of documentation, sacrifice and scientific rigor that ALRNCN has been putting in for decades. Because when someone in the future wants to study how the relationship between technology, artificial intelligence and sex evolved, we'll be sitting here with 200 installments saying: “Relax, kid. We already took care of it.”

And we've actually reached a pretty respectable milestone: Random AI-generated images, volume 38.

Let's take a look at the latest batch.





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You can't say she didn't give it a chance.

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